Minimalist!!

is it just me or is it normal to often sit and wonder "what the hell is going on in my life???"

well... i would rather not expect anyone to answer that.. but yes... that happens to be my frequent preoccupation lately... here is the thing... there is tough, hitch hike terrain awaiting my exploits... and there is the well worn, my usual, right by the rules outlet... oh yeah... not to forget... some deadlines to adhere to...

but most of all, the much needed decluttering of my mind... before you strain your brains, i have been slowly but definitely being influenced to incline towards "minimalism"... all thanks to a dear friend.. well... its a different thing that minimalism mainly refers to a simple living with most essential needs being met... and the

idea of "less is more"... you ought to start with decluttering your surroundings and believe it or not, at the end of it you will be surprised to see the amount of useless stuff that you have accumulated over time... its a great ideology... however, i am of the opinion that we actually need to start decluttering form our minds... that is where everything begins... have you ever wondered what amount of information, some dangerously important and much more utterly useless has been piled up in our tiny little brains?? we hold on to lot of our experiences.. memories from the past that haunt us or bring smiles.. innumerable tiny worthless details and painful past that holds us back from a peaceful happy present... we are susceptible to fear... fear of under performance ..fear of society... of family... fear of living our dreams... or taking the risk... well, the only purpose it serves is reminding us that we are human... and fear is normal... it is indeed important to understand that we all make mistakes... some with horrible consequences... some that leave us scarred.. but once we are in the game of life, its essential to learn to suture.. to heal...to let go.. and to celebrate our wounds... than to let them consume our future... its hightime i take a stand... parade my priorities... refine my memory bank... and start being a true minimalist!!! cheers...


PS: me gusta mi minimalista!!

return!!!

Back again...after few months of no show... i return with more questions!!.. how do you even begin to introspect... where do you start... at times life gets so messed up that you know not where to begin....
if you find yourself falling head over heals for a person, if you are normal...your first instinct is to dream and paint every possible lame bollywood story that you have come across in your tiny little mind and then give way to apprehension about whether it will actually pan out well.... but for some screwed up people who have had a better share of bitter experiences, its more than natural to be at the verge of quitting even before they try their hand at normal... well... who am i to decide normal cause that is a very relative term.... but for what its worth, its impossible not to TRY when the most desirable, the closest to the person of your dreams is right in front of you... tantalizing with every move, every word, every slight look... even to the most cold hearted , cynical person.. (me included in this category )... how does a kid resist from devouring its favorite chocolate when it has been served to perfection???? how do you choose to be a loser and flee even before the battle has begun??? how do you yield to the norms put forth by the so called perfect society with all its imperfections??? how do you stop your heart pounding at the thought of that wonderful moment that you shared??? life always renders you helpless, at crossroads.... but it is for you to make the choice... the one that will be to your satisfaction... that choice which will not wake you up in the depths of night as night mares... the choice that u shall uphold with no regrets.... i have heard a million times that its hard to be yourself in this demanding man eating world... but i have tried telling that to myself even more number of times and its still a challenge... that passion within you that gives innumerable ideas to try, some crazy..some wild..some just outrageous... but totally because you are burning...that fire within you is not ready to take no for an answer... sometimes you keep trying even when your mind is commanding to retreat... cause that blood pumping machine in you commands otherwise... and its so hard not to follow your heart... for all those out there, trying beyond limits to devour their favourite chocolate, stop not until you are completely wasted...
don't give up... just be you... cause life is too short to try to be someone else... 

aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrghhhhhh!

as i sit and wait for the most important call of recent times... fyi... b4 u ppl assume anything.... dad's call... with the voucher codes for our pg entrance exam.... i wonder for the first time ever, whether i did the right thing by choosing "medicine"?????... what did i do it for?? do i still have the child's perspective of doc being the god who saves lives in kaliyug??? or the eternal slave to the erratic govt and its crazy ideas abt experimenting with poor innocent, stressed out neo adults who r struggling to find a place in this world...... are we juz the bottom of  the food chain or do we even belong to it anymore??????? is there any end to the atrocities???? will we ever grow up to be a part of a nation that can bestow its ppl wid academic, economical n social security????? or is medicine going to be a choice fo the rich???????? damn... hw long should i vent it out b4 i do get my code?????

numb

As I woke up today morning, I was stilled for a moment by the cold breeze..It took me a moment before I realized that the goosebumps erupting over my whole body had nothing to do with the wind, but pretty much due to latest developments of last night... For once I didn't know if I woke up from a bad dream or whether I finally found myself propelled back to reality from the mirage I had dissolved into... When my insides are screaming to start using my left cerebral hemisphere, it seems to have magically atrophied... When the ship in the bottle shatters, all that is left of it is a wreck... While I am contemplating about the shortest route to ocean of oblivion, the gates are unleashed... And in that cruel moment of reality, I actually understood why none of us are gifted with a time turner... Time spent and the words uttered are lost forever..aren't they??.. if only I could stop the words ringing in my ears... If only I didn't have the capacity to comprehend the implied... If only it were to be in a language unknown to me... If only it was just one of those many nightmares that plague my sleep... I wish I could sink to the bottom of a sea for a few light years... While I am buried in these thoughts, I spot a kite perched on top of lonely branches of a tree... The seemingly chilly wind seems to be adding to the beauty of it.. Making it's feathers fly like frills of a beautiful frock... And I wonder, how would it react if I asked it not to fly?????.. I have made the final jump... And I am numb... numb...

mmm...

the search ends...a new journey has begun..... lost in the world of pure joy, and prey to the most basic emotion... living it...loving it.... !!!!!!!!!!

:P

well... this is what cramming does
to u... :p.......

Tempest...

Agony and pain... Comes with ur vain... Misery needs no company ... Hurdles r juz too many... How can I let go... My protective 'ego'... Or is tat only my foe... Shud I be overthinkin..no no.. Missing the usual flow... Tides of feelings at an all tym low.. seems impossible to row... Reality is always a big blow.. Big blow...

lub dub!

as i relax into the depths of my mind

i wish i could see the ppl i left behind..

its not easy to stick to the grind...

and definitely life isnt kind..

wrapped in the wings of ambition..

heart and miles is a deadly combination..

its soo hard to contain my temptation..

to let go of all the inbuilt inhibition...

aah... lifez like tat folks!!

soñar

Yo sueño con el día cuando probará finalmente libertad...

cuando estaré en la cima del mundo...

inhibiciones dejadas atrás...

viven mis sueños...

corazón machacando... sentir el amor en mis venas...

viven y loving it...

***

as i stand in the balcony..

my heart aches for the unheard symphony..

crowds and clutters fill me wid agony..

gone are the days wen i was bright and shiny

trying to race ahead of time

malls, movies n fun seems like a crime..

drowning in books,ambitions r prime..

life seems like a mime..

yearning for the fireball..

still encaptured in my softhall..

dreary to let go of ur safe wall..

bt that isn't entirely my call...

will be done with this one day..

all this toil will pay..

then i shall fly away..

and let my heart have its say...

glimpse...

when i seem to be actually living in a parallel universe, lost in the ocean of books, i wish for one moment that i could retrace my steps back home..to home..sweet home... the abode of peace and serenity... the tall, much familiar coconut trees... and mom's new kids..(the bonsai n indoor plants :P)... and mom n dad who r probably having too much free time without me arnd..:. :( i kno not a betta plc i could possibly be in ryt nw, coz i am sure...dis is as close to home as it can get in blr.... the road was meant to be a bumpy one.... though i ve heard soo much abt dis phase of any doc's life, its hard to actually be stuck in it.. gone are the times when catching up on slp or a gud movie or a gud novel and some spice could make my day...but like they say, nothing gud comes easy in life... u juz oughta keep moving...strike a balance... hmmm... atleast thats wat comes to my mind... as i close my eyes, i can see flashes of my recent past adding more color than my real world... my room...my rides on my 2 wheeler... apron... corridors... familiar face... aah..the gud life... i shud rather open my eyes...for now..

Quiero...

Quiero vivir como nadie nunca lo hice
Quiero reír hasta que mi corazón siente la luz
Quiero bailar hasta que el mundo es juz girando a mi alrededor
Quiero amar como eso es la esencia de mi existencia
Quiero abrazar como estoy sosteniendo mi mundo
Quiero sentir el agua fría de hielo en mí como su manta de tranquilidad
Quiero respirar la libertad como su fresco aire fresco
aire.. agua.. tierra... fuego...

:)

time for a new beginning..
to quench my hearts yearning
to make dreams come true..
n give books their long awaited due..


with zeal and zest..
to give it my best...
with nothing to fret..
abt the palpitations i felt..


balancing the heart and mind..
leaving the past n insecurities behind..
wid trust, faith n strong will i bind..
myself to the upcoming grind..

tiempo de despedida

estoy dejando mys... En la búsqueda de mis sueños... Esperemos que lo consigo..
cuando regrese, deseo que encontrar mi corazón que dejaron... adios



ps; i am still here.. :P yet to melt..

the decline...

something is not right..
feeling my lungs go tight..
stilled with fury and fright..
kno nt a way outa my plight..


my mind is natent..
with thoughts that betta be latent..
words uttered find indifference..
thoughts unspoken bear no significance..


caught in the middle of a tempest..
wish i could undo the pain and rest..
time to give up my impossible quest..
ll burn my fingers,lest..


memories seem to consume me..
why cant they juz let me be..
raking the hidden embers of heart..
they wont rest untill i fall apart..

**********

as i wake up frm a really gud dream, i m invariably forced to get bk to reality..evn though i ld rather get bk t slp... as i go thru the motions of my quite boring life, i wonder what is it, that is missing... the yr ahead is a dreary path... bt my goals r crystal clear... hurdles innumerable... bt determination has found its master..

and long stry short... as alwys...it all started wid a jolt from my blissful state of ignorance.. while i am still wishing to fade into oblivion, i ld rather not mess with wounds which have gone mad.. like they say.. what does not bother me is razor sharp, frankness... what does find its way of lacerating my soft hall are soft words which come with implications... beautiful words left behind in the world of intoxication.. there is a book tat i dint read... there are things i dint say... there is a dream that ll be a dream.. alas..thats life... may be thats why i need to become a surgeon... lota suturing left.. the part that dared to let go..to let down the defenses. is finally retreating.. fo reasons unfathomable, i cant acknowledge that i could be vulnerable...its that kinda pain...that lets u live...bt takes away a bit of ur soul...ur heart.. i still stand tall..head held high...dreams to be conquered...integrity overpowering emotions..patience my new found virtue..

ouch!!

i think i ve palpitations lately... all the time!!! like i need a reminder that i am alive and big hearted..;p..
anyways... i m outa of my coll for gud... n this time, its soo soo true!!... n i m gonna be outa mys soon...(((..
sucks... n i can barely imagine my life in blr...the traffic and pollution n lack of peaceful, serene surroundings... n SLOGGIN... omg... i shud rather nt think abt it... alas...lifez tough... bt um... i m reminded that 'the tough gets going when the going gets tough'...sigh...
here is a list that i ld rather wish remain the same forever in the coming yr..
mesmerising mys n the peace and calm that comes wid it..
hopefully mom n dad ll still ask me t slp off wenevr m tensed..(like they did until nw..;p..)
frndz remain unchanged!
creativity and wits as rich as evr..
sun still rising in the east and fire..still..my fire..
aaaah... dis is all i ask... lol...

crazy wish...

isnt it enoff to juz ..

sit on the terrace when derz a cool breeze..

wake up early enough to catch the crimson red and cheerful chirping..

laze around on the couch and watch tv..

cuddle up and read a gud novel...

eat chocolate the 'dairymilk' add types...

loong walk....let solitude seep in..

plunge underwater and enjoy the blissful silence..

be lost in the world painted by william wordsworth o any othr romantic..

dwell in the history of the long gone kings..

sleep like time stood still and number of hrs din matter whatsoever..

muse in the memory of gud old skool n coll times..

get caught in the frenzy of fiery winds and listen to the secrets of the green world..

feel ur heart racing...blush..

forget that u ve to rake ur brains abt innumerable que abt future...

 aaah... the list is nvr ending!!!...

calling...

after a looong tiring day in the scorching sun and hunting for non existent crazy depts that nvr crossed my mind in the past yr and finally landing derm completion outa sheer luck, i am soo glad that i am one step closer to finding closure... its time tat we got out fo real... time to explore the unmapped country within us... finally, i think i am at the end of the well worn path and back to square one i guess... contrary to the usual flow of crowd, i m searching fo an avenue to channelise my skills and expertise(atleast tats wat i think..:P) at a grasss root level... to go back to basics... to find pure joy in its true sense.. to contribute my drop to the ever increasing ocean of help needed..  untill recently, i alwys wondered why i couldnt put my finger on one particular subject or dept which i would prefer to term as 'my calling'... i could nvr understand why i was alwys find myself with the wounded.. and why i could nvr walk away... but lately, i know.. i juz know.. that my work in future no matter which subj i choose ll be strongly associated with the real needy... with the wounded... coz that is my calling... n thats where i belong.. thats what is meant to be... i ve nvr really understood why i am at the giving end or why i am alwys listenin when ppl crib or why my heart aches to see kids who do not get to dream...or why i cant let go... why i cant stop caring... but... thats me...n derz no changing that... n nothing more satisfying..nothing more challenging than making a plc in the hearts of ppl who ve lost hope in the good of this world... all of us have a life...but very few actually live it to the max... life is now... open ur hearts...coz there r many who ld luv to be a part of it...
ps: i ll still miss the abode of pigeons fo all the right reasons..

whats worse..

when emptiness encroaches u and joblessness seems to be ur brand new surrounding...and u r lost in an endless dark tunnel of uncertainty..the ordeal of official  paperwork or the hollow age old system sucking u into its deadly depths... an era that u don belong to anymore.. the new chapters that r yet yet to be written... and i find myself stuck in the midst of a boundless desert, not evn remotely close to a mirage of an oaisis... leaving behind the comforts of the gud old grey and white was tough... but walkin outa the heritage buildings right into the middle of nowhere is tougher.. and nothing worse than denying a pic for a photo freak... lyf sucks!!

time for reality...

i had read somewher...all lovers are liars...they lie to themselves..bt um... tthats not the end of it... in spite of knowing the reality, we do not care to acknowledge... for all the smiles and times with all the ppl who don care fo u, there r truthful souls out there, waiting fo u patiently... for all the imposters who r caught and clicked often with u, there r a bunch of sweet hearts who support u in all ur bad times and don care to make headlines... when reality and gravity of trust finally find u, when u can sit back and count the heads who r ur true pillars of strength, when u finally kno the ppl who r worth the extra mile, its all about "juz doin it"... juz following ur heart... it needs guts to confront ur enemies... and courage to weed out ur own demons... take a stand... make the change... and do justice to 'i am not symbol of anythin...but only myself'... coz u r home wen u r accepted the way u r... and  those who r trying so hard to change u, don really matter!! learning to luv ourselves, our true 'self' and all the rough unpolished edges that comes along and to value ppl who r not trying to polish either is the essence of life.. 

tick tock..

at 4am in the morning, i eagerly wait to catch a glimpse of my coll campus while i am still on the train... and as i did finally see my beautiful coll, an array of glittering lights , shades of white and grey...rock steady..and juz as perfect as ever.... when u r soaring high on nostalgia..and the stress and strain of mmc is dissolving into a distant past...and joy and happiness seems to be overflowing!!.. the thought of being back to where u belong, whr u bloomed..whr u were accepted...ur personal comfort zone... twas juz amazing... though as alwys, i had my share of sweet and sour, the untrue and true..the mocking of existence and a gr8 deal of reality... whr u r a stranger t ur dear ones and some unbelievably amazing moments of exalting trust... its such a wonderful feeling when u run into ur princi aftr a yr and find that hez still going gr8 on memory on as warm as before... and the final, and most proud day...grad day... flurry of red and black...hat and oath for lyf...gleaming folks...and an insane crowd of graduates!!... all in all, an amazing experience...not to forget...the loss of my ph...and some dreary days of no contact with book..but to conclude... i am a graduate..finally..and i see the world as it is...  dreams in my heart, fmly by my side, fire within...distinction btw right and wrong, true frndz who stood the tempest of time and a mysterious future beckoning with arms wide open...and time goes by... 

fire!!

when morning bleeds to noon, and u still have the whole day to spend in casualty...ur mind starts wandering...imagination taking complete control...whilst u r on a luxury ride  to the land of dreams, u r bound to be interrupted by the never ending inflow of patients... and whats worse...half of the cases r op compound consumption, RTAs, assaults... in spite of being engrossed in my tiny shell of life, i cant seem to suppress my rising concern for our society which has come to be soo flawed... corruption at an all time high... health at an all time low... ignorance and illiteracy, as rampant as ever... and we r one of the biggest democracies in the world??...am i proud of our history..the land of yogis and our heritage??...yes...but am i proud of what we have come to be???..NO.. der was a time when the youth marked boundless courage and indomitable determination...when unwavering attention was given to eliminating our social demons...but tdy, we educated bright young indians, sit back and watch..let the atrocities continue...its pitiful that more than half the patients we treat r bpl...when india is boasting about globalization, IT capitals and ever increasing number of shopping malls and sky scrapers, the true india is as far from basic amenities as it was before independence...there r scores of lil children out there, who liv in the most horrendous conditions and dreams and wishes r juz not in their tiny list of birth rights... why is it that we do not eradicate our social problems at the grass root level??..why r we happy to juz accept things instead of trying to make a change??..why do we fail to open our hearts to the real needy?? our negligence and passivity ll make us pay...eventually... all we need is a spark...fire...fire of patriotism, oneness and the readiness to lend a helping hand....fire is all we need!!

points to ponder...

in life we meet loads of ppl...some u r born to...some u grow up with...some u luv...some u hate...some u r close to...and some who hurt u...some u work with...some u juz tolerate.. but very few touch ur heart...very few stay lush green in ur memories forever...very few actually connect... some bring smiles...some remind u of unforgettable lessons...some u trust...some u care about..some make u laugh... some bring joy... for one, we r never short of ppl...all thnx to our exponentially increasing population...but the beauty lies in us finding ppl who suit our taste as if customized solely for us...and some we luv with all their rough edge...all in all, we r social beings...in solitude, we find our'selves'...and in company,joy and happiness... people are always betta than no ppl...  we crave fo a sense of belonging..we luv it wen some1 understands us...we r overwhelmed when we r accepted...and blessed when remembered...hurt otherwise..but god sure as hell knows hw to control and time the traffic of ppl in our lives.. 

to make each day count...

while rage conquers u in a jiffy, peace takes an eternity.... while sorrow creeps by at snails pace, happiness is momentary... while derz more days to lyf, best remembered r few... while it takes days to fill ur inbox to the brim, hardly 5 seconds to delete...oh yeah...a thousand wonderful texts deleted frm my ph...interesting convos...awesome fights..cute patching up..new yr and bdays..and all it takes is 5 secs to wipe it out..what is it about it that i am missing?..hmmm...may be like photos, it captures moments that r worth treasuring...that on reading again, brings a smile..reminds u why u worry and care about the wonderful ppl who actually sent the texts...but like evrythin in lyf...nothing gud lasts forever...  we luv to hold on to gud times...to juz hope that time stands still...in the process of brooding over spilt milk, we tend to forget to add 60 worthy seconds to each minute...while i could bury myself in oceans of self pity, i ld rather choose to let go and let the crimson red of a new day conquer me...  m juz glad i ve a fully functioning brain with decent inbuilt memory...lol..and for what its worth, i still believe in jack's toast...''to make each day count'...

stupid cupid!!:)

no matter how hard u try, u juz cant be gloomy around dis time of the yr... yeah..m tlkin abt "cupid day"...:)

well...st.valentine hardly knew that centuries aftr his death, he would be this popular!! and i am sure he never gave it soo much thought before leaving a note to his frnd on the day he died saying.."love from ur valentine"...

in an era blotched with cruel claudius  and his ruthless ban on marriages, st.valentine had the courage to encourage love!...  as a kid i thought, the ultimate love story would be ddlj... and later titanic...and then..kkhh and the whole love is friendship...walk to remember!! hehe...and the list continues...:p...but more importantly, love triumphs.. (i kno quite a few who ld luv t disagree on this..).. may be it is juz a perception of our mind... or a complex interplay of hormones and impulses.. but whateva it is.. nobody is spared!!.. it might not be a perfect cinderella story...or an epic romance.. it could be howard roark...or rhet buttler...or juz a lousy frnd whom u nvr cared to think otherwise....so...fo all those who r single...ur cupid tym ll definitely...and its worth the wait...and fo those who r alrdy in luv,...may the luv last forever..n fo those who think they failed, u ll kno that u didnt only the day when the right person walks into ur lyf.. and fo those spl frnds who r yet to believe, hope cupid strikes u all soon..so tat i get t say 'i tld u so'..:D... live...love..coz we live only once and ll leave dis world alone fo sure..the word is love..love love..haha..lol..

??

there was a time, not long ago..when in a state of dillema, i would  find solace on our hostel terrace...gushing wind...starry night canvas...time stood still..and my thoughts echoed... and as the night wore out, i ld ve answers..clarity...  my thoughts like pelted pebbles on still water are causing ripples in my mind... i luv to watch the rising fireball..when crimson conquers the boundless blues... as much as i like to plunge underwater when the world seems a dream...and perfect stillness and free mind a reality... coz its insanely divine..as if u r engulfed in everlasting peace... and in those moments of bliss,  evrything becomes crystal clear...u r no longer lost in the fog....but what can u possibly do when ur insides r screaming.. when ur heart aches for impossible quests...and reality beckons to ur logic... and tranquility is an unfound stranger... when natures best gifts fail to enrapture and you r at the edge of a precipice...do u retreat or find courage to dive??.. when ur dreams have been sculpted by gods own hands and somehow reality of life is holding u back, what do u do??..perish or brave the cold waters??... 

bro!!

i luv saturdays!!!! wait...b4 any conclusions r drawn... its not my day off.. its juz the day my awesome big bro comes home!!!.. i kno tat not evry1 can actually understand why i am super excited abt it... bt u ld probably kno if u had a bro lyk mine!!.. n trust me... fo once i am not exaggerating... well...frankly speaking... i owe him a lot... as a kid, wen i was busy trying to be a problem child...he somehw had the knack of tlkin me into being a gud gal..:p... he evn deserves credit fo teachin me to write alphabets..lol... and not to forget, tolerating a talkative kid lyk me tailing him evrywhr... but most of all, he might probably be the only person who truly believed in all my crazy ideas...who could bring out the best in me..and fo all the right reasons, i m shit scared t face him wen i m wrong..not coz he ll scold me o anythin...juz tat hez one person whom i don lyk to let down... tdy..as i watched him play with my chotu cousins, i realized... its nt abt me...its abt him being such a kind gud hearted person that he spreads joy wherever he is...handsome,shy,honest, humble and a total introvert...but wid a heart of gold and invaluable virtues, he stands out as my role model....my best frnd.. m soo glad.. he will probably tease the shit outa me for writing this...lyk any typical elder bro:P..but dis one is fo him!!:)

what nobody teaches u...

from when we were kids, we have been taught about everythin ranging from tiny things like 'wash ur hands before u eat'...to complicated stuff like...u gotta focus on ur career and u gotta be de dutiful good kids as we grow up.... but what nobody tells u, is tat inspite of all the advices, we learn by making mistakes...even wen we kno and ve heard a million times abt hw u shud not play with fire...i think we understand it better only aftr burning our fingers....ouch!!..while god did give us brains and the gift of logic and reasoning, he didnt stop frm making us mortal and prey to emotions and feelings... when ur mind is sending supersonic impulses to refrain, ur heart as is pounding and u feel soo gud...and adrenaline is at an all time high... and somehow it juz feels so normal to let go of ur defenses...what evry1 tells us is that we r dependent on fmly...frndz... what nobody tells u is tat one fine day, u ll leave it all behind... what u do hear often is that luv for money and worldly pleasures are identity of a shallow personality... but what u do learn by urself is that it takes more than a pretty face and luck to actually earn some.. what we do get lectured about is hw to do the right thing...but what u oughta learn by urself is hw to cope up aftr making a mistake... what evry1 tells is that heartbreak hurts worse than labour pains.. but what u do realize on ur own is that somewhr down the line, u heal...and start once again to 'feel'...

what evry1 tells u is tat its safer to build walls arnd u...and that very few ppl actually try to breakthrough and see the real u... but what nobody teaches u is how to react or cope wen some1 actually does take the trouble... what i did get preached abt is that u gotta create ur own destiny.... but what i did learn by myself is that sometimes.. sometimes when u kno not what to do... its juz betta to let things take its own course... juz giv time to ur mind to find peace and ur heart to revert back to sinus rhythm...once some1 had told me, u do think u r strong and u ll nt make the mistake of falling in luv...but one fine day some1 ll wlk into ur lyf  and before u kno it, u will be walking down the well worn path of luv my frnd..luv...haha.. its a crazy world... and its rather better to leave things the way they r instead of trying to figure out and make sense outa it!!

thinking loud..

when i am actually super excited about getting back to coll, somewhr at the back of my mind, my current work plc and the new lyf i ve gotten accustomed to keeps flickering.... i ll be a liar if i say tat i hate the plc... for reasons unknown, and far beyond my comprehension...i ve fit into the plc... i am no more a total stranger... i no more stare at my feet when i wlk here, coz i do find familiar faces and friendly smiles!!... its juz human i guess.... adjusting...making new frndz...fittin in... i  ve grown to luk beyond the flaws... to adore the old heritage building... the age old wooden stairs...illiterate but the real needy patients and plenty of pigeons in the campuss... i shud mention here that, one of my fav memories of mmc would be definitely those of me walking aftr a totally tiring night duty at 6:3o in the mornin and contrary to my state of mind, it used to be soo serene...tranquil...chirping birds...the usual mys cool breeze...and lovely old buildings...and a feeling of having saved lives...(atleast i felt so.. :p..)...and i do realize...i ve had some really 'wow' moments...and some 'awwww' moments... and some 'why is lyf so unfair' moments... bt all in all... it has been a treat... real gud one... nt completely smooth... bt i ve come to lyk the rocky terrain that comes with the territory... . today, when i was actually quite bored sitting all alone in the ophth dept...checkin out the collection of old ophth books, listenin to muzic n trying not t get spooked by the dim flickerin light in the corridor...n there appears a familiar face!! hmmm...no matter hw hard i tried not to acknowledge untill nw, the truth is...i m happy to have made the jump...for inspite of my luv fo my coll, this is an experience which was worth the trouble!!! all smiles...:)

what next??...

 when u r at crossroads, and completely confused...somehow the past keeps flashing... bits and pieces of memories from the gud old times... i dunno if its juz graduation day which is coming up soon or whether its the fact tat i am almost done.. bt m missing coll... somehw it felt safe.. and stress free... all that mattered then, was juz attending coll...studies... masti... friends.. but here we r... its almost coming to an end... time t worry abt future... future in its real sense... to choose the subject tat we will luv to work wid fo the rest of our lives... to secure a pg seat... and pretty much all the serious stuff tat lyf could offer us...hmmm... why r we supposed to decide evrythin n sort it out...time evrythin??? wouldn;t it be easier if we juz let our instincts handle it... juz take some time out... relax... and enjoy lil bit??... may be its time fo a break... to release all the stress... n to juz stop worrying for a bit... nothing good comes outa worryin... gud muzic... gud hols... paint.dance.. chill out... aftr all, we liv only once!!... its tym to juz be spontaneous... its nt often tat we r 22 in lyf... juz once... i think all of us r smart, amazing individuals... we will figure it out... once i m done relaxing.. or done feeling gud, i m sure i ll be able to focus on studies...at evry point in lyf, we keep thinkin what next??... bt for nw, i m juz happy tat i ll be goin bk t coll...aftr almost a yr!! graduation!! gud old frndz!! funnn...

me!!

hii...i am ash..left with one last month of internship..n soon i ll be done wid mbbs...
here i am, u could say kinda jobless..(all thnx t ophthal postings..)..n frankly speaking...my future is pretty much a huge question mark.. all i know, like the rest...i ve joined a coaching insti n the comin yr is gonna be all about slogging... but for nw, i am juz lazing arnd...